Alias Junkie Extroadinaire
by beyondmyreality
Summary: If you click on this you enter the domain of a seriously insainly wierd Alias junkie, and you get a nice big dose of it with every word you read. So read me!
1. The Day and the Life of me

Alias Junkie Extraordinaire  
Chapter 1  
  
The day and the life of a Californian Alias Junkie Extraordinaire. (For some that will tend to be slightly boring)  
  
I curse J.J.  
  
"NOOOOO" I scream at the television as Vaughn lifts his hand to his head.  
  
I saw it! I saw, we saw, everyone saw, the one thing that no Alias fan/obsessie is ever, EVER, supposed to see.  
  
The Ring  
  
No I am not talking about little 4'4" Frodo Baggins walking around a place that does not exist caring a cursed circlet of gold.  
  
But it's pretty damn close.  
  
No, no, no.Instead I am gaping at the cursed circlet of gold that happens to be resting quite comfortably around the ring finger of Vaughn's left hand.  
  
At this point I am sitting there pressing my hands to my mouth attempting not to gag. He's married, Sydney hasn't been there. Damn you Vaughn, damn you.  
  
We sit though two seasons of Alias HOPING that Sydney and Vaughn get together. Yes, the do end up together, but for what! 3 OR 4 EPISODES!  
  
This is Bull.  
  
And they were so perfect together.  
  
But I guess I am going to have to face it. We won't always have the pleasure of watching Sydney and Vaughn suck face and know that they do the dirty 24/7 for the rest of our lives.  
  
I throw a pillow at the television as the logo of our obsession appears mockingly on the screen. And of course, I get yelled at. Hey, if it was my house the television would have been flying out the window the minute I saw the wedding ring.  
  
Thank God I taped it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I sit here now typing to you, and once in a while talk to my friends online. My friends know I am obsessive because:  
  
My Aim SN is kchildresspg47 My e-mail is Sydney_kat_bristow@yahoo.com My favorites on my Favorites list are websites like AllAlias.com, Fanfiction.Net, Jen-Garner.com and abc.com/alias.  
  
Oh, and 4) Alias is all I talk about. (That and how much I love Michael Vartan.)  
  
Sadly on AllAlias.com I am not obsessive enough and have only been garnered the rank of "Paper Pusher" while others there display "Super Spy", "Senior Double Agent", "Experienced Agent", and "Secret Agent."  
  
This is what I get for not spending every waking moment on the internet not quenching my dehydrated obsession.  
  
(No offense to the wonderful people that run AllAlias.com. You just happen to make my off-season, non Alias watching hours just a little more bearable.)  
  
But, hey, there will be a Season 3, life will hopefully go on, with or with out a Mrs. Michael Vaughn that isn't Sydney. (And if it's Alice I am seriously going to have a hissy fit. Yes I am a proud Alice Hater.)  
  
A/N:  
  
To all of those who review... "I love you" seriously, I really really love each and every one of you. Even if you spit at me and tell me to go and live on a island and never ever consider writing another thing like this ever again. I am going out on a limb right now. I don't feel like writing any Sydney/Vaughn, Sydney/Sark, or even Sydney/Marshall (eewwww) kissy kissy, "Lets go make like rabbits" fan fictions right now. Because frankly, even though that is what I live for, that is all everyone ever writes about in one form or another.  
  
Love until later,  
  
Kat  
  
P.s. To continue or not to continue?? That is thy question of ye day. Answer me! 


	2. Even More confessions

Alias Junkie Extraordinaire  
Chapter 2  
  
Even more confessions of insanity from a Californian Alias Junkie.  
  
So a blonde walks into a bar..  
  
Nah.too typical. And besides, I suck at telling jokes.  
  
Here I am again. Here to tell you how hopelessly obsessed with Alias I truly am. I might need a shrink some day.  
  
Ok, I am not one of those girls, who when opens her locker at school reveals a shrine, yes, a shrine, totally devoted to the one, the only, Josh Hartnett. And then next week it's all about Lance Bass or Aston Kutcher (What ever his name is.)  
  
In fact I am the total opposite. I guess by my lack of knowledge on how to spell Aston's name proves my point.  
  
I have never been one of those girls that is totally obsessed with one teen idol after another. And when my friends asked what happened to Crush #47 I'll ask myself what the hell I was thinking.  
  
Nope, that's not me.  
  
Well not really.  
  
I discovered Alias and then Michael Vartan. I have posters. I have a shrine.  
  
My binder is devoted to Michael Vartan, Jennifer Garner and everything Alias.  
  
My friends ask me who I think is hot and then they realize what may answer is when I hold up my binder to their face, open my locker or pull out my recording of the season finale that I have stowed away into the depths of my backpack.  
  
That tape has become the "Teddy" or "Blankie" that every other 3 year old is known to posses. But I am a 15 year old girl!  
  
And do you want to know the thing that really sucks?  
  
I don't know anyone who watches Alias. No one. Well except the few of you who I talk online with. But still.  
  
I am the only Alias Junkie I have ever met. It seems that California (or at least my home town of Fallbrook) is completely and utterly devoid of fellow Alias Junkies.  
  
Help Me!!!!  
  
Love until later,  
  
Kat 


	3. Blah Blah Blah

Alias Junkie Extraordinaire  
Chapter 3  
  
Blah, blah, blah, blah...  
  
Romance.  
  
Action and adventure.  
  
Parody.  
  
ANGST..  
  
Humor.  
  
These are some of the categories that Alias Fan fictions can fall under. But what about the supernatural?  
  
LOl, I have only read on supernatural.and it was quite odd.  
  
Sydney, Vaughn, Jack, Irena, Sark, Sloane, Francie, Will and all the other Alias characters get abducted by an alien and are forced to fill out questionnaires.  
  
Now, in this story all the characters are out of character and the answers to the questions are lame.. Seriously.  
  
Ex: From Sark's questionnaire.  
  
3. What do you find enjoyable?  
  
A: Killing people.  
  
Don't you think that's lame???  
  
And then after reading from Sydney's, Vaughn's and Sark's, the story stops and I've never seen it sense.  
  
Now I am going to ask you guys to do something. Its sort of like a SD-6 Monthly writing challenge, But well make it slightly different and give it a different name.  
  
Let's call it:  
  
A.J.E. Writing Oddities  
  
Now the point to this (Like SD-6) is take different elements, combine them, and put them in a story, preferable an Alias fanfic.  
  
(I doubt anyone is going to take this seriously, but I am going to give it to you anyways.)  
  
Elements:  
  
Has to be supernatural but can't involve aliens. Glitter An Itty Bitty Hand back scratchier. A tube of melted lipstick.  
  
Now that won't be too hard now won't it?  
  
But then again I think that they're only about 3 people who read this besides me.  
  
BUT If you do choose to do this, review it to A.J.E. or post it on Fanfiction.net under the supernatural categories.  
  
Now won't this be fun!  
  
And for all fairness, I'll be doing one too. (Just don't know when.)  
  
So get typing, or not, you choose.  
  
Love until later,  
  
Kat 


	4. YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT THE VAUGHN WINDOW?

[B]Alias Junkie Extraordinaire  
  
You don't know about the Vaughn window?!?![/B]  
  
Bear with me...  
  
Imagine you are walking down a street, any street, just pick a street.  
  
Now you know how some shops have those manikins all dresses up and standing poised in the window. Well have you ever seen the live ones?  
  
Now if you have, you'll know what I am talking about, if you haven't imagine a person modeling clothes in a shop window all day, and wa-la, you have a live manikin.  
  
Anyways...  
  
You are walking down a street looking in the shop window as scowling at the manikins, (They always seem to mock me and I hate it because I swear if they could talk they would say, "Hahaha, you fat cow, I can fit into these pants and you can't!" 


	5. Oops, I think I did it again

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!!! I posted the previous chapter and didn't realize that not all of it was posted. So as a apology, I am posting the rest, and another chapter (there might be 3 today, I haven't decided yet.)  
  
Alias Junkie Extroardinaire  
Chapter 5  
  
Oops, I did it again and forgot about the other Vaughn window, SORRY!  
  
So.Anyways, you're walking down the street, getting harassed by Would-be- Bulimic manikins, and you happen across this window. Now this isn't just any window. No, this window that the Sex God in it. Did you guess, do you know who this golden man is. Well if you guessed it, you're a qualified obsessie, that or you're really good at figuring things out (e.g. you're smart.) But for those of you who don't have a clue about what I am talking about, I'm talking about Michael Vartan, others may know him as "Michael Vaughn."  
  
Yes, Michael Vartan/Vaughn is in that window in his full, tall, not so dark, and handsome golden glory. :: sigh::  
  
Now the question is this. How long or how often would you go to or stay at that window knowing that he was in it? How long would you stand there and gruel knowing that the Sex God of Sex Gods, Michael Vartan, was in that window for your eyes to feast upon????  
  
Right now you may be thinking, "Damn, I wish that there was a window like that. I'd live there, eat there, and err.do other things there day in and day out just because he was there. That is like my dream. Too bad it doesn't exist."  
  
Well Guess What!!  
  
There is one! There is a window that has Michael Vartan in it all the time!!! Do you want me to tell you? I know where it is..all I have to do is tell you, do you really want to know????  
  
Ok.  
  
Here it is...  
  
Are you prepared for this...  
  
Because I am only going to tell you once...  
  
It..  
  
Is..  
  
In...  
  
............  
  
................  
  
The TELEVISION!!!  
  
You can see Michael Vartan in your household window as many times as you want (considering the fact that you recorded at least one episode of Alias, or have his movies.) or ever Sunday at 10/9 Central on ABC! Now isn't that a shocker! I can't believe you didn't think of this answer that I have given you!! But don't worry, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt (and a Michael Vartan life size paper dress up doll {undergarments permanently included}) and let you know that I know you didn't fall for this because, 1. I'm not that smart, and can't pull things like that. 2. You're smart and know that I can't pull things like that. And 3. I am assuming that you like this story (if not, why are you reading it?) and want to read more and blah blah blah..this part is getting boring, you're smart, you can figure it out.  
  
So please, enjoy your window while you parents still let you stare at it, and have a happy-go-lucky life until the next time I write. (This won't be a very long time sense I posted more than just this chapter.)  
  
Love until later,  
  
Egyptian Kat (Kathryn)  
  
A/N: Please review!! I love it when people review!! It makes me all happy inside and I think I'll just break out into the Happy-but-don'-do-it-in- public Dance. And thank you, thank you, thank you all my reviewers, I love you tons!!! (And if you review, I might just also lone you Mr. Vartan for the day.) 


	6. I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER!

Alias Junkie Extraordinaire  
Chapter 6  
  
I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER!!!  
  
I don't think I can take it much longer! I don't think I can wait this long. Why us? Why me? Why do I have this obsession??  
  
(By the way, its 11:47 right now {he he})  
  
I'm wired to Alias! I don't think I can go one whole day with out thinking about it. It is as though my brain is stuck on a constant rerun of all shows that ever aired. I am always trying to figure out what is going to happen next. How the 3rd season is going to play out. I think I have about a hundred different scenarios running through my head.  
  
And I don't think I am the only one.  
  
The moment I found out that Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan were going out I was hopping around and squealing like I've never squealed before, clapping and just going ballistic. (I didn't go as crazy as I did at the end of The Telling, but I got pretty close, and besides, this time it was a happy crazy and not a pissed crazy.) But isn't that great news!!! Especially for all those Sydney/Vaughn shippers, like me, that are out there. Even though Sydney and Vaughn aren't exactly peachy on Alias, at least we know that they are in real life. (weeeee..does The Happy Dance.)  
  
So does anyone here know the exact date, time, minutes, seconds, milliseconds, and nanoseconds to the first episode (The Two) of season 3?  
  
Surprisingly, I don't even know.  
  
Lalalalaa...  
  
My insanity is getting the better of me!  
  
I can't take it! I don't know how much longer I can stand not knowing what is going to happen! I can't stand not knowing where Sydney has been for the past two years, why Vaughn got married, what the hell Il Dire does, where Jack, Irena and Sloane are, AND WHY THE HELL WE HAVE TO WAITE 3 MONTHS!!!! ::whimper:: This isn't fair.  
  
It should be considered torture.  
  
Like silent torture...  
  
Like...the all classical "Haha, I know something you don't know!" This is cruel.  
  
Cry with me!!! So I am going to shut up now, and leave you to contemplate if you are as insane as I am, or not. Ok? Good? Now, Adios to all of you.  
  
Love until later,  
  
Egyptian Kat (Kathryn) 


End file.
